Transplanting hair

I’ve had it made painfully clear over the years that my hair is foppish; that what grows out of the top of my head makes me look like the lovechild of Melvyn Bragg/Barry Gibb or Daryl Hall/David Hasselhoff. Most of these hurtful comments have been manufactured by are borne of resentment from men who are bald, or at least, thinning. ¶ My wife has informed me that hair transplants are a B R U T A L process and this elicited in me a wave of compassion for those who are destined to be thatchless. Nevertheless, I remain an unrepentantly hirsute popinjay.